Have you ever had what you thought was a sure thing ripped away from you?
My friendships have always been important and dear to my heart. I don't play games so if I invest in someone it's genuine and I think it's important to have confidants you can go to for Godly counsel.
I'm incredibly grateful for the amazing friendships I have and I feel this past year has been such a growing point for me in not only true friendships but in me being a better friend.
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
~Proverbs 27:17
I've wrestled with writing about this for so long. I feel it's a big part of my story for the last year but I haven't known where to begin so I've always felt like I'm guarding an impactful and changing part of my life from others, whether encountered in person or online.
I've experienced loss in friendships that have since made me much more hesitant about trusting others and their sincerity. We're talking about friends who I would weekly speak with on the phone, randomly text multiple times a week and e-mail. The kind who were confidants and we knew each others quirky likes and dislikes.
They very suddenly stopped the friendship with no explanation. I no longer heard from them unless I reached out first & even when I did reach out I wouldn't always hear back - some went as far as blocking or unfriending me on facebook. There were no RSVPs to party invites we sent out, no returns on voicemails, no acknowledgements to birthday/anniversary/Christmas greetings and no explanations. Its been very strange.
To say that I feel duped by what I thought were sincere friendships is an understatement. Certainly played the fool.
I still haven't been able to find out why this has occurred and I'd be more concerned if I was the only one to which it happened.
(For any wondering, I did take the hint and finally backed off on contacting them over the past few months)
I still pray for them often - they were very dear to my heart and I don't know what life situations they may be going through to make this happen, but, you can't help but love someone if you pray for them.
I also know my personal testimony in Christ is greater than my personal feelings about a situation.
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
~Proverbs 17:17
As I wrote about the other day, I have the choice in how I respond to their actions - how wonderful is this situation to remind me to lean fully on Christ!
It's so easy to get wrapped up in the temporal yet visibly present things in this world, including people. My fullness can never be found in another, not even my spouse or children. I know the Lord has used this loss to grow me in multiple ways - drawing closer to Him and maturing in my mindset. (because it goes against my nature to be so guarded with others!)
For He has satisfied the thirsty soul, And the hungry soul He has filled with what is good.
~Psalm 107:9
I do hope that my personal testimony can help remind even one person to find their satisfaction in Christ. We all go through different struggles in which we can choose to respond Biblically & grow closer to the Lord or respond to satisfy our flesh. It's a daily battle for me to choose how the Lord wants me to respond over my instant desires to do what I want!
Jessica, Had to wipe the tears to finish reading. By the end, it had turned from your expression of a hurt to be a Love Letter to our precious Lord which shows your true heart. Probably the finest article I've read on friendship hurts - which can be the most severe of all hurts as we invest so much of our heart and love into them.
ReplyDeleteThe timing of my reading this is perfect as yesterday I spent a great deal of time in prayer over a similar circumstance. It took a long time to give this over to the Lord as I so wanted to 'fix it', like
putting a bandage on a deep cut, but in order to bandage something you need to know where the cut is and someone's silence doesn't allow you to locate this kind of 'cut'.
I have this torn little piece of paper I ripped out of a monthly devotional years ago and it reads, "For this I Have Jesus". Just that ripped corner that I have tucked in my Bible. You have shown with your beautiful writing that even in circumstances as painful as a broken friendship that Jesus is 'always what we need'.
"It's so easy to get wrapped up in the temporal yet visibly present things in this world, including people. My fullness can never be found in another, not even my spouse or children. I know the Lord has used this loss to grow me in multiple ways - drawing closer to Him and maturing in my mindset. (because it goes against my nature to be so guarded with others!)
For He has satisfied the thirsty soul, And the hungry soul He has filled with what is good.
~Psalm 107:9"
Thank you for turning your personal hurt into such an expression of love and trust in our Saviour.
May the Lord continue to bring others to read this when they are walking the same path.
A beautiful quote from Oswald Chambers:
"Let the past sleep, but let it sleep on the bosom of Christ.
Leave the Irreparable Past in His hands, and step out into the Irresistible Future with Him."
God bless you, Jessica.